Biggest Funny Sayings English SMS Messages Collection
 *~* Ultimate LOGNEST & LARGEST Categorized SMS Messages Collection *~*

You can study and get any certificates.. but you cannot get your own death certificate

(......by Dracula).




You may have DIALOG or MOBITEL connection, but when you sneeze, all you say is "HUTCH"

(...... by Mr. Bean).




You can ' bcom ' an engineer if you study in an engineering college .... You cannot ' bcom ' a president even you study in a President College

(...... by Mr. Premadasa).




A mechanical engineer can ' bcom ' a mechanic but a software engineer can-not ' bcom ' a software

(...... by Mr. Bill Gates).





You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup

(...... by Mr. Arjuna Ranatunga).

The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon--seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock--full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat - like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I it took such months to get. " -- Phyllis Mcginley   thought of Suicide. Went 2 railway track, got SMS from U, after reading I thought 2 live ! U inspired me ..... A useless fellow like U is alive , Y sud I die !!!   He krishna tu is kalyug me aa k to dikha..
Tune 18 saal ki umra me mama kans ko mara, Bin laden ko hath laga k to dikha..
Tune pura parvat ek ungli pe uthaya, mere jim me aake ek dumbell utha k to dikha..
Tune bhari mehfil me draupadi ko saree pehnai, Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna k to dikha..
Tune gokul ki 1600 gopia sath me rakhi, mere collg ki ek ladki pata k to dikha.

From :Gurpreet singh - Email : guree286@yahoo.co.in   He krishna tu is kalyug me aa k to dikha..
Tune 18 saal ki umra me mama kans ko mara, Bin laden ko hath laga k to dikha..
Tune pura parvat ek ungli pe uthaya, mere jim me aake ek dumbell utha k to dikha..
Tune bhari mehfil me draupadi ko saree pehnai, Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna k to dikha..
Tune gokul ki 1600 gopia sath me rakhi, mere collg ki ek ladki pata k to dikha.

 

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hai ki duniya
wale dekh ke jal jate hai, yu toh hum sabhi ko ULLU banate hai, lekin
aap thoda JALDI ban jate hai...

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap
karta hoon.

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai, birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain

Good news for you ! Rent free accomadation (Khana, peena, sona,
rehna... Everything Free !). For more details.. Just Dial 100.

Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa Kasam, Bahut
Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

Ur smile can be compared with Flowers, Ur voice can b compared with a
cuckoo, Ur innocence can b compared with a baby, but in foolishness...
You've got no comparisons
 

u r 100% beautiful, u r 100% lucky u r 100% sweet , u r 100% nice and u
r 100% stupid to believe these words.

Gandhi bhi chala gaya, nehru bhi mar gaya, subhash bose ka bhi kuchh
pata nahi, aur meri bhi tabiyat thik nahi hai.... pata nahi desh ka ab
kya hoga.

Zindagi mein teen cheezen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain..... PAISA.....
MAUT.....  Aur..... Aur..... Mera SMS !

 
 
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could
be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...

Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love,
life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED
tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...

If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can
take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there
for you.

Please remind me 2 remind u about reminding me 2 send u this reminder
that reminds me of reminding u that i am always ur friend. DONT 4GET!

Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i'm thinking of you all the time.

 
 
Think big... Think more... Think positive... Think beautiful... Think
great... I kno thats too much 4u. So, heres a short-cut. Just think
about me...!

Bhul se Bhi Kisi Ko na Rulana Jindgi Main sab Ko hasana Dusman Ko bhi
gale Lagana Fir Bhi Koi gam ho To apun Ko 09823781277 par phone Lagana

098 Abaj..., 23Caror..., 78 Lakh..., 12hazaar.., 77rupiya.., nahi-nahi
mere per itna karz nahi hai.., na hi itne ki mere pass properti
hai...,yeh to mera mobile number hai sms karo kanjus

Sometime I dont say hi... Sometime i dont reply.. Sometime i dont msg
u.. But it doesn mean that I forget u.. It means that I am giving u time
to *MI$$ ME*

Unhe yeh Shikwa hai ki HUM unhe Yaad karte hi nahi, Par unhe ye kaun
Samjaye ki Hum unhe Yaad Kaise kare Jinhe HUM Bhulte hi nahi.

Every
second God remembers you,
Every minute God bless you,
Every hour God cares for you because...
Every day I pray God to take care of U.

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

You = Lovely
You = Perfect
You = Beautiful
You = Amazing
You = sweet
You = Cute
You = gorgeous
You = Fantastic
You = Fabulous
me = lier! :)

  Life is like:
MATHS:
Friend kO
Plus karO
+
Dushman kO
Minus karO
-
Khushia kO
Multiply karO
*
Gam kO
Divide karO
:-
aur
.
Life kO
enjoy karO!

Feelings r
many... but words
are few, clouds r
dark...but sky is
blue, love is a
paper... life is a
glue, everything
is false... but our

friendship is
true.....

24 hrs make a Lovly Day...7 days make a Lovly Week, 4 weeks make a
Lovly
Month, 12 months make a Lovly Year, and knowing some1 like U makes a
Lovly
Life...

Kya aakhein hai, kya baatein hai, aisa lagata hai jaise....
jaise....jaise.... kisi peepalke pedse koi BHOOT utar aaya hai !!!

Tuzasa koi dusara is zameen par huwa to rabse shikayat hogi.... ek to
zelanahi jata...dusara aa gaya to kya haalat hogi !!!

Kahan ho? jahan ho wohipe rahana... 3-4 ghante tak bahar mat
nikalana...
tumhari jaan ko khatara hai... bahar BANDAR pakadanelwale ghum rahe hai
!!!

Aapako miss karana roj ki baat hai..yaad karana aadat ki baat
hai..durrahana
kismat ki baat hai..magar aapako zelana himmat ki baat hai

Feels good when somebody MISSES U, better when somebody LOVES U, but it
feels best when somebody NEVER FORGETS U....so U can feel the best
now...

Kya aap close-up karate hai? kya aap mobile rakhate hai? kya aap bills
bharate hai? to phir aap SMS kyaun nahi karate hai????

Ek dost ka wada hai, marte dam tak nibhayenge, maut aayi to tumase
pehale
ham jayenge, tumako naa bhul payenge isiliye tumhebhi saath le
jayenge....

 
 
You're like a shining star in the cold dark nite, you lead me, you
guide me, you makes everything seems so rite...

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL
NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.
Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.
Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart

The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of
forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.

 
 
Happy moments Dont forget me;Difficult moments-Trust me;Quiet
moments-Call me; Painful moments Tell me;Every moment-Bless me;....Good
Morning.....

Close ur eyes & imagine:Chand ka bed,Taron ki razai aur phoolon ka
takiya!!!Nice na??Now come back to earth & sleep on ur KHATIA...Good
Night....

New Morning+ New Aim+ New Achievement + Ur Dedication +
Commitment=Success...Just do it and win it Good Morning....

10-Fingers 09-Planets 08-Sides 07-Wonders 06-Sense 05-Pandavas
04-Seasons 03-Choices 02-Genders 01-Wonderful Friend ***U***

Khush to bahot hoge tum,
Ki forward karne ke liye SMS mil gaya,
Magar aab kya karoge...?
Jab msg me kuch bhi nahi mila...?
Ha ha ha ha

I know U R So-So-So -B-U-S-Y
But...Take... 3 Seconds to think of me
1... ...
2... ...
3..................
So Sweet. now continue ur work..

Ae Dost Itna To Yaad Kiya Hota, Ek Pyaar Bhara Paigaam Bhej Diya Hota,
Kaise Jeete Hein Teri Yaad Mein, Ek Baar Haal To Pooch Liya Hota.

,_o/' Pleasant
    'l Morning!
  ./L
CHEER up and REJOICE
Coz every new day brings new Life....
new blessings....
new hope!
Have a nice day! GUD-MORNING!

Knock! Knock! May I come into ur world? I bring no flowers, no gifts
but wishes to keep u fresh, prayers to keep u healthy & luv to keep u
smiling. Gud Morning!

G-God
O-Ofers Us His
O-Outstanding
D-Devotion 2
M-Make us
O-Obedient &
R-Ready 4 a
N-New DAY 2
I-Initate
N-New AIM 4 d
G-Glory 

Simple music can make u sing, a simple hug can make u feel better;
simple things can make u happy. Hope my simple Hi... will make u smile.
Good Morning. 

Aey item, chal uth, suraj ugela hai, chand dubela hai, murga chillarela
hain, mast flower khilela hai, jhakas mahol banela hai, bole to kasam
se ekdum rapchik GOOD MORNING 

D se Dosti, D se Dil, D se Dard, D se Dillagi, D se Dewangi per D se
itna bhi Dur na ho jana ki S se SMS our C se call bhi na kar sako…

Sabse intelligent koun: TUM , sabse smart koun: TUM sabse storng koun:
TUM in sab me TUM se zeyada koun: HUM lakin dunia me sabse acha dost
kaun: HUM TUM

Paichan kaoun?
?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ?? ?? ??
Abe khufiapanti kya kar raha hai upar nam nahi pada kya.

Hum 1bar jite h
1bar marte h
1bar pyar karte h
Shadi b 1bar karte h
Jab har kam 1bar karte h to
apko MISS kyun bar-2 karte hai..

Kaun kehta hai ki is duniya mei majbut irade wale log nahin milenge.aap
mere is dost ko hi dekh lijiye,duniya idhar se udhar ho jaye pr yeh sms
nahin karenge..

MIL GAYA
OYE,
MIL GAYA.
OYE,OYE,
OYE...
MIL GAYA...
OYE,
MIL GAYA
OYE...
MIL GYA...
OHO OH
Apna kam chad k mera msg padhan wala mil gaya..

Agar manjil ko pana hai to himat saath rakhna,agar pyar ko pana hai to
aitbar saath rakhna,agar hamesha muskurana ho to BRUSH AUR PASTE SAATH
RAKHNA. GUDMORNING

Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,
Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.

No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as
long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!

IN SOFT GLEAMING NIGHT OF STARS
MAY ALL UR DREAMS COM TRUE 
MAY EVERY STAR OF EVERY NIGHT
BRING LOV N JOY 2 U 
HAPPY B'DAY 2 U...

Kick off ur shoes,take a break,Crank the tunes,Dance & Shake,light the
candles,cut the cake .Make ita a day,that's simply Great!!! Happy
B'Day....

if, 1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625
5= ??
before scrollin think.
Answer is 1.
Remember the First Line..
1=5..?
Moral - Don't Complicate Simple Problems in Life!

 "*" . "*" . "*" . "*" . "*" . "*" . "*" . "*"Tìny stars shìne ìn so
bright ìts tìmé 2say güdnite,so closé ür éyes&sléep,may ühav the swèétest
dream 2nite.

   no sweet 
 thoughts to
   forward
    no cute
   graphics
    to send
     just a
 CARING HEART
      saying..
THEEK HO NA AAP ..

"24 sweet hrs make 1 sweet day"!!
"7 sweet days make 1 sweet week"!!
"4 sweet weeks make 1 sweet month"!!
but..
"1 sweet person  like u, makes th life sweet..
 

From :vipul - Email : v.patel101@gmail.com  

Pehle haath main loo,Phir sidha karo.

Phir moo main dalo,Phir thook lagaao...

Phir andar gusaao...>

Uf kitna mushkil hota hai..!!!

"Sui main dhaga dalna"

From :Mian Abdul Ghaffar(Kashmir) - Email : desi_babu_1@yahoo.com  

Hont se honty milao to hont LAAL...

Gaal se gaal milao to gaal LAAL...

Chras piyo to ankhain LAAL...

Pakre jaao to sab kuch LAAl...

Bach jaao to jholay LAAL......