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You are here: Home -> Mobiles -> SMS -> Messages -> Text -> English
Message Number : 1 ☻When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
Message Number : 2 ☻The 3 wonders of a woman 1*give milk without eating grass 2*get wet without water 3*bleed for a week without going 2 die
Message Number : 3 ☻No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??
Message Number : 4 ☻After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on
Message Number : 5 ☻A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Message Number : 6 ☻I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving
Message Number : 7 ☻No men, no love, No love, no sex, No sex, no childeren, No childeren, no school, No school, no homework, No homework, no problems!
Message Number : 8 ☻NEWS FLASH snow white has been thrown out disneyland. she pulled up her skirt, sat on pinnochios face & shouted lie u bastard, lie, lie!
Message Number : 9 ☻What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still sucks after five years!
Message Number : 10 ☻If you want SEX take a boy and RELAX but don't forget DUREX!!!
Message Number : 11 ☻If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money
Message Number : 12 ☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
Message Number : 13 ☻Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
Message Number : 14 ☻The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Message Number : 15 ☻If you have no voice: SCREAM...... If you have no legs: RUN......... If you have no hope: INVENT…
Message Number : 16 ☻When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!
Message Number : 17 ☻Man: I would really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.
Message Number : 18 ☻A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him:dad why do you keep on telling everyone that your dying of AIDS.He replied"So that when i die no 1 will fuck ur mom
Message Number : 19 ☻Kill one you're a murderer, kill 10 you're a serial murderer, kill them all, you're GOD.
Message Number : 20 ☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so many faces, so I'll fuck you at different places.
Message Number : 21 ☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!
Message Number : 22 ☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
Message Number : 23 ☻To wake up in the morning and always see the sun no matter the weather, I'm glad the day has begun.
Message Number : 24 ☻I hate it when
you leave, but I would like to see you go. ☻When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
Message Number : 25 ☻One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
Message Number : 26 ☻Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
Message Number : 27
☻A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others
Message Number : 28 ☻What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.
Message Number : 29 ☻When god created the men he was only kidding
Message Number : 30 ☻Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!
Message Number : 31 ☻Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN
Message Number : 32 ☻When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.
Message Number : 33 ☻There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops ? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!
Message Number : 34 ☻If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !
Message Number : 35 ☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
Message Number : 36 ☻Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters
Message Number : 37 ☻Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.
Message Number : 38 ☻You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!
Message Number : 39 ☻Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise
Message Number : 40 ☻Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !
Message Number : 41 ☻What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use
Message Number : 42 ☻Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.
Message Number : 43 ☻Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?
Message Number : 44 ☻Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"
Message Number : 45 ☻There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.
Message Number : 46 ☻Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
Message Number : 47 ☻Can
I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay
attention during the applause." |
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